People constantly span in and out of our lives. Some people orbit us, fascinating asteroids choosing to stay and keep us company on our journey through life. Others flicker...acquaintances that never bloom into friendship or brief love affairs. These are the meteors that explode spectacularly against the blackness, delighting us before they disappear. And still others barely register; supernovae, dead to us before they were born...the girl who makes our espresso perfectly or not, the tram driver who waits for us or leaves us in the dust, the child standing in line behind us who smiles shyly or sticks out her tongue.
But when we live in the present, when we interact in the present, we have an amazing opportunity to receive a gift from each of these in every moment. I know this because my best friend taught me this last week when she told me that each time I'm walking away from a situation, “Thank the universe for whatever gift it just gave you, because I assure you there was one.” And she’s right. Every time we hug our sister goodbye, the last time we kiss our lover or each time we walk away from the counter, step out of the tram or move out of the line...anytime we interact with anyone we’re being given an opportunity to leave with something priceless.
The longer people stay in our lives, the easier it is to see these gifts. Our asteroid friends are our friends because they often remind us of our stellar qualities - and we all have them. Wondrous and unique, they choose to revolve with us, acting as a mirror. They reflect back our love, our kindness, our intelligence, our compassion, our humor, our sparkle. And we feel this deeply when they affirm us with a smile, laugh, touch or offer of help. Our friends can also mirror back our less than shining qualities...our thoughtlessness, our judgment, our self-centeredness, our stubborness. And when we see that hurt, disappointment or anger in their eyes, it moves us too - to confront our less pretty side, and to grow.
It’s a scary thing to ask someone to look deep into our soul and tell us what quality about us hurts them the most...scary for them and scary for us. But friendship is also about trust and when someone has shown and proven that they love us and will continue to love us despite our flaws we want to try to give them that same love back in a way that’s meaningful for them. And this is where the real gift is born of friendship.
The meteors also shower us with gifts. These are often more difficult to see or more painful to receive. But they can also be some of the most rewarding. These are the gifts that can really transform us. Acquaintances, lovers and almost friends who briefly pass through can sometimes throw us out of orbit. We wonder what was wrong with us - why didn’t they want to set up a tent and light a campfire in one of the many asteroid craters our friends have created around us? Why don’t they want to lie on the blanket with us and watch in awe as the shooting stars fall in a cascade of light?
But if you push past these fears the gift is there. These are the people who can most often remind us to keep surrendering to life, rather than being attached to our actions. They show us the value of patience and kindness with no reward. They see potentials in us our friends often miss...inspiring us, brief muses traveling through time. They remind us that we all have our own path and though our people may join us - it is a conscious choice as they too have their own paths. They show us new ways of doing things and different ways of seeing the world. They teach us that to know great joy we must often experience the depths of sorrow...and to know great love is to risk crucifixion. They remind us of the places we’ve already tread and they hold up lanterns showing us worlds we didn’t know existed. They invite us to walk in their shoes and have compassion for the things we don’t know. They reflect the truth that we are all children of life - that we are all worthy of love with no expectation of return.
And the supernovae? What of them? These are the gifts and opportunities that we most often ignore because we’re in a hurry or we’re caught up in ourselves and we fail to realize we’re meeting another soul on the way.
Supernova people are cool because they can actually defy physics! If we treat these two minute encounters as the gifts they are - the dead star is often reborn and shoots across the night sky. And sometimes if we’re lucky - instead of disappearing it chooses to explode back through the earth’s atmosphere and crash-land right next to us - smiling in delight as we smile back.
Ultimately it is not the encounters or situations themselves that are the gifts. Rather it is the asteroids, the shooting stars and the supernovae themselves. How will we treat this myriad of gifts in our lives? Will we thoughtlessly tear the wrapping off them, taking only what we came to get - material quickly consumed and discarded? Or will we take our time unwrapping them...delighted by each layer of what we find - thankful that they came into our lives for two decades, two months or two minutes? The choice is always ours to recognize the gift in every moment, in everyone - to love and to allow that love to be reflected back to us, if only for two minutes.
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