I’m sitting in a little cafe in Wien immersed in the moment as emotions cycle through me. And the feeling that keeps running through my body is “grateful”. When I called my best friend Laurel last week in tears - she loved me. But then she said something surprising, “Don’t ask the universe for help, instead be grateful that the universe has already taken care of it.” And as I continued to meet obstacle after obstacle over the last week, whenever I began to falter her words would come back to me....again and again and again. And now looking back over the past few weeks, I can’t begin to recount the miracles that have taken place. But I have and can continue to thank the multitude of strangers and friends who stepped in (especially Lenka R & Jan Z) or gave encouragement (the rest of you) in my quest to continue to live & work legally in the Czech Republic.
What is this “being grateful” and what does it mean “to be grateful”? This I ponder as I’m now sitting on the train traveling back to Praha with so much love and gratitude still flooding my heart. For me being grateful is about surrender - surrendering to the universe, knowing it works, knowing there’s a plan and then letting it magically unfold. It doesn’t mean you don’t work too. But it does mean that you end up working co-creatively. Together you create the present moment through your thoughts, words and actions...together you manifest the reality.
And as I write this I am suddenly aware that this co-creation or synergy is actually reflective of what can happen in yoga classes. For me, the core of yoga is about getting students to really be present with their bodies, to take 90-minutes out of their week to truly turn off the mind & ego and allow the body to lead. Interestingly, when they do this they often find it is also about love and forgiveness...loving the body in that moment the way it is and forgiving the body for daring to be weak, inflexible, sick, overweight or just tired. It’s recognizing our imperfections, feeding them with love and then awakening to the knowledge that it is our imperfections which make us perfect.
It takes a courageous person to go down into child’s pose when everyone else is in downward facing dog, to put your knees on the ground for plank when nobody else is or to lie down and do a reclining pigeon while other people are folded forward. It takes a lot of strength to say, “I’m really inflexible here” or “I’m weak here” or “I need a break” or “I’m done for the day”. It also takes a lot of flexibility of the mind to let go of the all of the preconceived notions we seem to have around what yoga class and yoga “should” look like and ultimately to surrender to what it really is or what it might be.
Last Thursday night I came out of a class that I had subbed. I looked at Yogame studio owner, Jan, and smiling said, “That was great! We had so much fun!” And he looked at me in mock horror and with his fabulous accent replied, “But Monica, this is not a bar or a party, this is yoga class - you’re not supposed to have fun!”
And truthfully, subbing another teacher's yoga class is often not fun. Rather it is generally incredibly daunting and challenging. Students get very attached to their teachers. It can be disconcerting to watch as students struggle to mask their disappointment - trying to work through letting go of their attachment. And teaching through this can be extremely painful if you don’t quickly release your own ego. You are the mirror for your students and you can choose two paths. You can choose to mirror your own disappointment in the fact that they’re disappointed - which I can pretty much guarantee results in an unsatisfactory experience for all parties involved. Or, you can invite them to work with you to create a new path - an unknown path that may or may not lead somewhere nice - but at the very least will be present, real and authentic. To do this requires courage, strength and flexibility of mind from everybody. And ultimately it requires a willingness to trust.
Yoga class for me is an adventure...it’s magical. It’s a space where multiple beings, who may or may not know each other, bravely step up and allow themselves to be egoless and vulnerable. And so for that 90-minutes, together we create an environment of openness, trust and yes - often fun! What this means is students rest when they need to rest and they ask for help or modifications when a pose hurts or doesn’t feel right. It means students have the power to say no. In a way the poses cease to matter. They begin to melt into the backdrop as students choose to exercise their rights. And yet paradoxically all of the students remain part of the group...a whole that has suddenly become incredibly powerful and beautiful because it is fueled by individuals who in that moment are all really listening to and taking care of their needs.
Thus each time I step into yoga class with my students, I am always excited by (and sometimes a little fearful of) the prospect of the unknown. But then the fear is banished as I wonder to the universe, “where will this 90-minutes take us today?” And so at the end, as the students lie still in savasana, I am perpetually overcome by love, awe and gratitude for the trust they elicit in themselves, each other and the process and their continued willingness to create this wondrous adventure with me.
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