How to Empower Your Yoga Students

What does it really mean to “empower” our students? And as teachers, how do we go about it?

In recent years the word itself has become so overused and misunderstood that its meaning has been lost. This is frightening to me because the word is tied to the core of who we are—and to our humanity. According to Judi Chamberlin’s research, an individuals ability to feel empowered boils down to these critical components: power, resources, community, information, options, assertiveness, authenticity, critical thinking, feeling and expressing emotions (especially anger), self-growth, and self-esteem.¹

So, why is this so important in the yoga community? As our students find their way into our classes, a huge power differential is already a part of the equation. They’ve been indoctrinated to believe that the teacher knows best. They’ve been encouraged to not ask questions or express opinions that may run counter to what’s being presented. They’re disconnected from their bodies and their egos sustain this disconnection. They’re afraid to be different. They don’t know how to tap into what their needs really are and if they do, they feel uncomfortable asking for them to be met. And as teachers, we can’t begin to meet their needs if we don’t know them.

I’ve had many teachers in my teacher trainings and workshops complain that instructors have hurt them or not heard them in classes. I always listen to their stories and to date, my response is always, “You’re not taking your power.” A teacher can’t force you to do something or not do something in the yoga classroom. You always have the option to say no, to tell them that they hurt you, to walk out during class or to never come back. And you can do all of those things and still be kind and respectful.

The problem is that most students are not going to volunteer information about injuries or challenges, unless they are asked directly. They’re not going to ask for modifications. They’re not going to drop down and rest. They’re not going to tell you they’re feeling the pose too much or not feeling it at all. They’re not going to tell you that adjustment hurt them. Yet, oddly, they will come back to your class.

The critical point of this story is that if we as teachers don’t feel comfortable taking responsibility for our own bodies in other teachers’ classes— how are we going to model this in our own yoga classrooms? This is our biggest challenge in the yoga classroom.

Empowerment is a collaborative art form—forever transforming—so, I’m constantly refining my methods. Below are several that have and continue to aid me in my quest to encourage students to take back their power!

Share what you know, but leave room for students to feel for themselves, too. I always tell my teacher training students, “Don’t ask a question if you already know the answer.“ If I look at a student in a seated pose and their back is collapsing, I don’t ask if they want a block to sit on; I just hand them one. Then, I ask if it feels better. However, if I look at a student and I’m not sure if a block would help or not, I might invite them to try a block, but I don’t walk away immediately. I stand and watch the student’s face. Some will take the block and though it may be less comfortable, they’ll sit in silence because I’m the teacher and I must know best. After a moment, if they don’t look satisfied, I say, “If it doesn’t feel good or it feels the same, just discard the block—whatever, feels best for you!” Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t—but I’m equally happy with either response because in that moment they’ve taken their power.

Give many opportunities for students to speak up. Every time class starts, I want to know if anyone has any new injuries or recent illnesses that I don’t know about. Then, I check in with students regarding issues from the week before. I continue to check in throughout class. By asking and doing these simple things I show students that I care deeply about their health and I indoctrinate new students into a world where their voice matters and contributes to their well-being.

Ask another way. Often, I like to ask the same question in different ways: “Does everybody understand how to contract the pelvic floor?” Invariably everyone kind of nods their heads and says nothing. But when I ask the follow-up question, “Does anyone not understand?” and I look around the room, catching eyes, students seem more comfortable and tend to ask for clarification. It’s two questions that effectively mean the same thing but I find I often get a response only on the second round.

Keep egos in check. When I’m demoing a pose I show the safest version first and if applicable, I’ll next demo the more challenging version. But afterwards I immediately drop back into the initial pose. It helps students fight their own egos and need to compare when they see that their teacher has challenges and issues, that I’m human too.

Of course, there are certain poses I won’t allow students to even attempt until they’ve built up certain muscle groups—most often back and abdominals. I’ve learned that it is possible to inspire and empower at the same time! One student asked to do Headstand and I said to her, “If you want to do Headstand safely, you need to do pushups at home regularly to build your forearm and triceps strength.” This is perhaps where my ability to model empowerment has its limits, in that grey space where injuries can happen. This is where my ethics kick in. I’m responsible for my students and on the rare occasion that they won’t or can’t take care of themselves and the potential for injury is there, I will step in. After the fact, I always explain why. The why can never be about me or my ego or my need to assert control or power—it has to always be about my love for them and their love for themselves.

Keep learning and growing. Over the years I’ve learned much through trial and error. Empowerment is also about modeling, accepting, and giving responsibility. It’s about stepping up when we’ve disappointed or accidentally hurt somebody, and it’s about stepping down and giving our students space to step up and take care of themselves. It’s about accepting the fact that nobody knows what our students are really feeling but our students.

Without encouraging the collective voices in our classes, we become stagnant as teachers and as students. Ultimately, the real beauty of empowerment lies in the magic we create together by challenging and learning and growing and trusting. Within this amazing ensemble of voices we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we can allow ourselves to be human.

1- http://davemsw.com/blog/recovery/chamberlin1997.pdf

Photo by Benjamin J. DeLong, used with Creative Commons license

Should You Change Your Teaching Style to Reach More Students?

One of the things I like remind my teacher training students is that if a student is not “getting” what we’re teaching, it’s our responsibility to look for ways to help them understand. Demonstrating the same pose in the same way or repeating the same phrase over and over often does not lead to understanding. Most teachers do reach for different analogies, ways of demonstrating and/or physical cues, but they may still stay within the confines of their particular learning and teaching style or styles.

Research backs up the idea that we should vary our teaching approach to reach more students when we teach yoga, But when we do this, do we risk losing a bit of our authenticity, a piece of that magical, unique “thing” that helps us connect with students whose learning style most closely jives with our own?

Education theorists have been discussing learning preferences since at least the early 1970s. One of the more popular models (VARK), postulates there are four major learning preferences.¹ And using this model, the results of a diagnostic survey of 40,000 people 18+ in California colleges, community colleges and corporations² stacked up like this:

Kinesthetic/Tactile: Females = 17% & Males = 17%
Auditory: Females = 35% & Males = 28%
Visual/NonVerbal (images): Females = 38% & Males = 49%
Visual/Verbal (readers): Females = 38% & Males = 22%
Balanced: Females = 23% & Males = 23%

A more recent theory speculates that students do better when the teaching style runs counter to their learning style.³ However, I think both come to the same conclusion—the more learning styles you bring into the classroom, the better for all students. Lately I’ve begun asking myself: Is this really true? Is it possible for all teachers? Is it even relevant to the yoga classroom?

Unless you’re very astute and aware, your learning preference will most likely be your teaching style.And despite current theories, my personal experience as an instructor and a learner is that students have a distinct advantage if their learning style mirrors yours and that students may not return to your class if their styles don’t.

Unlike many teachers, I’m just not in my comfort zone creating cues in the form of beautifully crafted and playful metaphors, interweaving movement and feeling with nature. Both auditory and visual teachers may use phrases like, “Feel your feet like roots burrowing deep into the soil, grounding you as your arms bud and your fingertips flower towards the sky,” to fluidly and poetically lead students in and out of poses. I am not skilled at painting (let alone seeing) vivid visualizations of swirling shapes and exploding color that can vitally connect students to their energy, breath, movement, and meditation practice.

Despite my own discomfort, these teaching styles employ deliciously and powerfully descriptive and visual ways of connecting, transitioning, and deepening for many students. They feel these words and visual images at a profound level and feel taken care of without ever having to be touched. And this makes sense, as about 75% of all learners are auditory and/or nonverbal visual learners… and thus, teachers.

This does not make sense to me in my own body, however. Not only am I part of the 17% who make up that smallest of groups—kinesthetic learners, I’m neither an auditory nor a visual nonverbal learner. Thus, I often struggle in teaching in these modalities. Perhaps as a result, I also tend to have smaller classroom sizes and, for the same reason, I like it that way.

Not surprisingly, I often teach students through physical touch and individual aligning and assisting in asanas, bandhas and breath work. I do brief demonstrations, but I’m quickly up, scanning, and walking the room, reminding students to breathe and stay inside their bodies while I align and support them (read poking) with my fingers and hands. To facilitate this, I intentionally never have a mat to ensure that my home base is everywhere.

I do give verbal cues (as I wave my hands about wildly), but the words I reach for sound like passionate car manual instructions for how I want them breathing or moving or feeling or using parts of their bodies. So, although I’m speaking, I’m pretty sure my words aren’t as provocative to auditory and visual image learners. And although I demo, non-physical learners might better appreciate a teacher who spent more time on the mat or didn’t touch them at all.

When students have pain or are feeling something in a different place than I expect, it is here perhaps that my learning style serves me and my students most creatively and powerfully. It leads me to get on the floor and try to mimic what I see my student doing to try to recreate their feeling in my own body. From this place, I can start hypothesizing—my learning morphing into my teaching on the spot… and sometimes back again if my hypothesis is wrong.

I’d like to cultivate and integrate other teaching styles into my classroom. In fact, before I wrote this piece I thought I was. But, upon further reflection, I think my teaching would not be as fun or feel as authentic to me if I did. It just wouldn’t feel like me.

We all bring gifts into the classroom. And, happily, the yoga classroom is a special type of classroom—it’s a journey, not a destination. And so for me and for you, it might be interesting, educational, and fun to begin to look at what teaching styles are in action when we feel like our students get the most out of a class. However, this exploration is surely not requisite.

Part of the exciting journey for the student and the teacher is that of finding each other. And this finding can lead to both a resonance with and a broadening of learning and teaching styles. It can feel like coming home, it can push our boundaries or it can be a delightful mixture of both.

We can try to clarify and support in ways that reach more students. But more powerful perhaps, is the recognition that they may just need a different teacher —a teacher with his own unique gifts that compliment his student’s special gifts —a teacher who accepts and revels in both her strengths and her limitations—a teacher who just strikes a pose… and vogues! And isn’t that what yoga is really about?

I invite you now to inspire and share how you vogue to learn, teach and reach others!

1. http://vark-learn.com/introduction-to-vark/the-vark-modalities/
2. http://www.4faculty.org/includes/digdeeper/lesson4/learningstyles.htm
3. https://thinkneuroscience.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/the-myth-of-learning-styles/

Photo by Linda Hartley, used with Creative Commons license

Eyes Wide Shut: On Learning to See Myself

No…we are not alone. But we often feel alone. We feel this way because we think people do not really understand us, do not really know us; and if they really knew us, would they still love us?

The irony is that our closest friends and lovers do see us, love us, and accept us fully — just as we see, accept, and love them in the same way. It is we who cannot see ourselves. We are blinded by our blind spots. We determinedly work to maintain a glorified self-image that we have wrapped ourselves in, confident that we are hiding the dark spaces.

But they do see. They are distinctly aware of our selfishness and vanity, our laziness, our over-indulgence and our fear and cowardice. And still, they stay with us. Equally, they perceive our big-heartedness and brightness, our softness and vulnerability and our courage and strength. They see us clearly and they choose to stay and love us unconditionally. And there is no still.

We are all just looking to be seen by others, so we can really see ourselves. And I know my lover sees me and often it is painful. His honesty cuts me and sometimes I cry, but I only cry because deep down I know it is truth. My tears are only for me.

His directness in sharing my darker sides gives me choice where before I had none. He gifts me with a deeper understanding of myself that I could not see or was avoiding. And with this new-found clarity, I can choose to grow or not.

I am growing and changing, but not in all of the areas he reveals to me. Yet every time he sees something, I hear myself say to him, “I will change”. And he says, “No, you won’t.” And it hurts me because I feel like he is saying he has no faith in me. But when I look beyond what my mind tells me, I realize with my heart what he’s really saying is, “Even if you don’t change, I still love you. I’m not asking you to change, I’m just sharing something I see. I’ve chosen you and I love you, unconditionally — all of you.”

So this is how he unknowingly teaches me… through his amazing ability to see and to be honest with me, and then to give me the space to do with it what I will… so that I too can one day love and embrace an unabridged me.

How I Came to Embrace Sitting

I’ve been a yoga teacher for over a decade, and it’s taken me this long to finally embrace meditation. I went through a vipassana retreat several years ago. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my life. It was also one of the most amazing experiences. I came out of it understanding that I and only I was responsible for my own suffering and pain…that I had a choice. I also came out of the retreat with the intention of making meditation a regular discipline. I believe this lasted about two days.

I’ve never embraced meditation. But lately, it keeps being suggested to me in myriad forms — people, books, my own inner wisdom. A part of me understood that this was the key to my salvation. But part of me rejected it wholeheartedly. And so three weeks ago, with the aid of the wisdom of my friend Nina, I began sitting again. And this time, I sat with no focus on the breath and no intention to mind my thoughts. Rather I sat and just listened.

I listened empathetically to that child deep inside all of us. I heard her anger and her fear and her sadness. And for the first time, I didn’t try to console her or make it better. I just let her feel. Sometimes I would pry a little and try to see what was underneath the emotion. But when I found myself too much in my head, I immediately went back to her and just listened.

Perhaps all people meditating find this place. Perhaps I just wasn’t ready or didn’t have the tools to really listen, to create a space for her, for me, to feel angry and sad and fearful and rejected.

So much of life is putting on that face, that front. It’s silencing those feelings that society deems “negative.” But they need space, too.

And for now, that space is my meditation. In a perfect place my meditation would hold all of the range of my emotions; and there are times it does. But for now it is mainly a space where I express sadness and anger and fear. Ironically, as I express these I am not sad or angry — I just am. Most often I am fearful in the pit my stomach. But I know there’s something there and I’m getting closer.

And ultimately, the excitement far outweighs the fear. My meditation is a journey, an adventure. For the first time I’m passionate about meditation because I finally see a real benefit for me, personally, as opposed to meditation being a “should.” I’ve found a space where I can truly express all of me, and in that expression come to love, and perhaps finally accept, all of me.

the space between

my soul whispers to yours,

"i knew you once."

the space between us in a crowded subway

yields across the platform to a tentative touch

consumed by a tiny kiss on a plastic metro seat

the space between us in an unguarded gaze
collapses caught in a blue-green prism
bending it sweetly into mirrored tenderness

the space where you coerce my lips

brand my ass

lace my breasts with your mouth

undress me

unthink me

unfeel me

penetrate me

until i scream mercy

and then take me deeper

dropping into the space between

the space where I become

...

i am empty

because you hold me delicately

careful not to spill me on the floor

rawness flickers unformed and unsorted

you are so new to me

and so old

i’m empty

because i am

and i am

my fullness

my ripeness

my loveliness

cascades into nothingness

that you catch in your mouth

and hold for me

filling me back up with myself

love recycled

Ode to Little Lion

My dearest Laurel, you are the best part of me
And when I’ve misplaced myself
You smilingly unfurl your hands
Rendering that piece of me that you keep like a spare key

I keep a piece of you too
Concealed in my heart
But I can't bear to give it back
You are precious

Loving my shadow defenseless
When she tries to steal my spark
Fiercely keeping her at bay
With a flower in an open hand

And when I stumble unsure
You playfully catch me up
Holding me tenderly by a silken thread
Plucked from your luminous halo

When I'm trapped in my hallucinogenic hedge maze
Unable to recall my purpose here
Your sunlit voice whispers through my mind
Leading me back with soft sibilants

When my heart shatters, fiery fissures spiraling down
Grief retching through me
The mirror of my sorrow in your eyes
Incites me to smile

When the voice inside my head begins crucifying
I shut my ears listening intently
Until I find that flash of you
Which echos only love

When I’m scattered like flames, skipping in different directions
Threatening to burn everything and nothing
Coaxing me back to the hearth
You hush me into stillness

And when my fire dies and I float shiveringly alone
Your love is a net cast freely
Gently ensnaring
Carefully towing me toward the shore

Together we silently gather driftwood along the strand
And when the kindling is laid
Taking my hand, you smile your secret smile
And set my heart ablaze

There’s a Darkness

Shedding my armor at your door
I followed you willingly, lovingly

Into a space where truth like knives
Rawly caresses the skin

There’s a darkness in the stream
Light falls through

While you cradle me
Whispering to my needs

Sacred things, unnamed things
Until my whole body weeps

Ubiquitous waves of surrender
Drowning me

My breath wrapped in yours
To sustain the moment

...

Awakening
I sense your absence

And wonder if perhaps you didn’t take me here
Because somebody took you here once

And abandoned you
In your own frightening desires

But now I’m in this place
I can’t go back

My armor rubs wrong
Against the new softness you’ve carved into me

There’s a darkness in the stream
Light falls through

Vulnerabilities illuminated
The tiny beads burn down my face


...

Mine

I squatted here... and after hours that feel like days that feel like centuries
This is my home

You may visit here
Just don’t try to move back in

I had it redecorated
When your stoicism left me cold


I want to play in this space
Exploring and opening myself

Fingertips tenuously wandering
Lingering in the arches and curves

Hugging my darkness close
While your light halos me

Yours

...

I bow supplicate at your doorway
Your hands wrapped around my hips

Hypnotize me with your words
Obsess me you say

There’s a darkness in the stream
Light falls through

Wooing the blackness, swaying the madness
Penetrating all that is me

A delicate lullaby
Hangs soundless in the air


...

Stepping backwards
Only diminishes the space between us


Turning to feel our next prey
We find ourselves browsing one another

There’s a darkness in the stream
Light falls through

Curious smiles dropping to reveal all
Time collapses in a moment of deep recognition

The intensity is so loud
You tenderly wrap your hands around my ears

...

Come back into the room with me
I don’t want to be a monster

i want to bask in my nakedness
my softness
my warmth
my sparkle

with you
with me

yours
mine

us

Hush

I wanted to be your and you wanted to be my
A moment held tightly between us

So we suspended a high wire
Tied with a gordian knot

Minds razzle-dazzled by the spotlight
Obscuring the dark hush of words willfully mislaid

Ignoring frays between the lines
Truths plummet unnoticed

Don’t look down

We pretended you can build love on lies
A tightrope walker without a net

Unraveling
Love trips on her own lines

Falling hushed by voiceless obscenities
She screams through the empty spaces

...

I saw her yesterday, undiminished despite the tender bruises
Cross-legged on the stage restitching my heart

Eyes cutting defiant before a silent ovation
Love bowed

Don’t look back

A Musing #5 - On the Nature of Space & Gifts

People constantly span in and out of our lives. Some people orbit us, fascinating asteroids choosing to stay and keep us company on our journey through life. Others flicker...acquaintances that never bloom into friendship or brief love affairs. These are the meteors that explode spectacularly against the blackness, delighting us before they disappear. And still others barely register; supernovae, dead to us before they were born...the girl who makes our espresso perfectly or not, the tram driver who waits for us or leaves us in the dust, the child standing in line behind us who smiles shyly or sticks out her tongue.

But when we live in the present, when we interact in the present, we have an amazing opportunity to receive a gift from each of these in every moment. I know this because my best friend taught me this last week when she told me that each time I'm walking away from a situation, “Thank the universe for whatever gift it just gave you, because I assure you there was one.” And she’s right. Every time we hug our sister goodbye, the last time we kiss our lover or each time we walk away from the counter, step out of the tram or move out of the line...anytime we interact with anyone we’re being given an opportunity to leave with something priceless.

The longer people stay in our lives, the easier it is to see these gifts. Our asteroid friends are our friends because they often remind us of our stellar qualities - and we all have them. Wondrous and unique, they choose to revolve with us, acting as a mirror. They reflect back our love, our kindness, our intelligence, our compassion, our humor, our sparkle. And we feel this deeply when they affirm us with a smile, laugh, touch or offer of help. Our friends can also mirror back our less than shining qualities...our thoughtlessness, our judgment, our self-centeredness, our stubborness. And when we see that hurt, disappointment or anger in their eyes, it moves us too - to confront our less pretty side, and to grow.

It’s a scary thing to ask someone to look deep into our soul and tell us what quality about us hurts them the most...scary for them and scary for us. But friendship is also about trust and when someone has shown and proven that they love us and will continue to love us despite our flaws we want to try to give them that same love back in a way that’s meaningful for them. And this is where the real gift is born of friendship.

The meteors also shower us with gifts. These are often more difficult to see or more painful to receive. But they can also be some of the most rewarding. These are the gifts that can really transform us. Acquaintances, lovers and almost friends who briefly pass through can sometimes throw us out of orbit. We wonder what was wrong with us - why didn’t they want to set up a tent and light a campfire in one of the many asteroid craters our friends have created around us? Why don’t they want to lie on the blanket with us and watch in awe as the shooting stars fall in a cascade of light?

But if you push past these fears the gift is there. These are the people who can most often remind us to keep surrendering to life, rather than being attached to our actions. They show us the value of patience and kindness with no reward. They see potentials in us our friends often miss...inspiring us, brief muses traveling through time. They remind us that we all have our own path and though our people may join us - it is a conscious choice as they too have their own paths. They show us new ways of doing things and different ways of seeing the world. They teach us that to know great joy we must often experience the depths of sorrow...and to know great love is to risk crucifixion. They remind us of the places we’ve already tread and they hold up lanterns showing us worlds we didn’t know existed. They invite us to walk in their shoes and have compassion for the things we don’t know. They reflect the truth that we are all children of life - that we are all worthy of love with no expectation of return.

And the supernovae? What of them? These are the gifts and opportunities that we most often ignore because we’re in a hurry or we’re caught up in ourselves and we fail to realize we’re meeting another soul on the way.

Supernova people are cool because they can actually defy physics! If we treat these two minute encounters as the gifts they are - the dead star is often reborn and shoots across the night sky. And sometimes if we’re lucky - instead of disappearing it chooses to explode back through the earth’s atmosphere and crash-land right next to us - smiling in delight as we smile back.

Ultimately it is not the encounters or situations themselves that are the gifts. Rather it is the asteroids, the shooting stars and the supernovae themselves. How will we treat this myriad of gifts in our lives? Will we thoughtlessly tear the wrapping off them, taking only what we came to get - material quickly consumed and discarded? Or will we take our time unwrapping them...delighted by each layer of what we find - thankful that they came into our lives for two decades, two months or two minutes? The choice is always ours to recognize the gift in every moment, in everyone - to love and to allow that love to be reflected back to us, if only for two minutes.

Torn

That night
You thought you took something from me
But it was just my body and seventy-five marka

I tore you too
I took a piece of your soul
And you won’t forget

Strangely, when I pulled it from my pocket
And looked at it
I understood that it was dying

And those who stood behind their doors
Silent
I stole bits of their souls too
And they won’t forget

But I want to tell you all
It’s okay
You can forget
I'm forgetting...slowly

I know what it’s like to scream
And nobody hears you
To know they’re there
But they can’t listen

Too many windows not to contain one human being
Was it fear that kept you voiceless
Did you somehow think i deserved that fate
Or could you just not feel at all

War is insidious
The way it bends the future
Creating armies of women and children
Torn

What is it like to go through life without compassion
Because you’ve lost too much
Seen too much
Felt too much

Oddly you don’t feel things
Like your forehead and limbs
Banging against the pavement
When it’s happening

You only even realize it’s happened
When you see the cuts on your face
And bruised arms
In the mirror

And you crawl to the bathroom
Because you can’t walk

People go mad and can’t come out the other side...

I know what it’s like to weep
And nobody hears you
To know they’re there
But it tears them apart to listen

...I came out the other side

Everyday I put you down
And I let you go
Because the alternative
Is apathy

You didn’t take anything from me
It was your own soul you violated
And those of the people who stood mute

Perhaps I merely borrowed your soul fragments
To cleanse them and love them
Until you can feel again

In the end
There were several victims that night in Sarajevo
But none of them were me

Vinyasa Sequence #9 (mainly for yoga instructors)

breath work
standing warm-up
standing forward fold
half forward fold
warrior i left
warrior ii left
reverse warrior left
warrior ii left
diagonal side angle left
warrior ii left
plank
cobra
organic dog
pigeon left
sleeping pigeon left
down dog open left hip
jana's pose left
low lunge twist left
organic dog
high lunge left
high lunge twist left
chair
twisting chair
stretch toes
standing warm-up
standing forward fold
half forward fold
warrior i right
warrior ii right
reverse warrior right
warrior ii right
diagonal side angle right
warrior ii right
plank
cobra
organic dog
pigeon right
sleeping pigeon right
down dog open right hip
jana's pose right
low lunge twist right
organic dog
high lunge right
high lunge twist right
chair
twisting chair
stretch toes
trapezius stretch sides
standing warm-up
warrior iii x's 3 left
intense side stretch left
half-moon left
revolved half-moon left
chair
standing cobra - hands behind head
standing forward fold - hands behind head
plank
side plank both sides
forearm dog to forearm plank x's 3
child's pose
organic dog
chair
twisting chair
trapezius stretch back
standing warm-up
warrior iii x's 3 right
intense side stretch right
half-moon right
revolved half-moon right
chair
standing cobra - hands behind head
standing forward fold - hands behind head
plank
side plank both sides
forearm dog to forearm plank x's 3
child's pose
organic dog
chair
twisting chair
stretch toes
rotate hips
*on blocks
standing forward fold
flat back
downward facing dog
upward facing dog
downward facing dog
triangle left
revolved triangle left
half-moon left
revolved half-moon left
*off blocks
chair
twisting chair
stretch toes
rotate hips
*on blocks
standing forward fold
flat back
downward facing dog
upward facing dog
downward facing dog
triangle right
revolved triangle right
half-moon right
revolved half-moon right
*off blocks
chair
twisting chair
revolve hips
squat
bound angle
crow
shoulder-stand w/ backbend of choice or legs up wall
spinal twists
savasana

A Musing #4 - On Love & Fear

I’ve been noticing the past few weeks that whenever I feel any kind of fear at all, if I feed it with love it instantly dissipates. What is this strange phenomenon? Why does it appear that love and fear cannot coexist? And if this is so, why don’t more people activate this principle in their lives?

I ask these provoking questions expecting a simple answer that can quickly be jotted down for my not-so-simple blog - only to discover that once again I’ve asked a question that has no quick or easy answer. For whatever reason, I attract these types of questions. And then I have to actually date them so I can better understand them. Thankfully I don’t actually have to abscond as they seem to fly away of their own accord once our fling has run its course. (;

So where to start? I suppose the easiest place to start is with love.

Love is boundless...a bucket that is a well that is a sea which all of us can tap into at any given moment. Like a mother's love it is also something freely given which expects nothing back. Love is freedom, a wild bird that chooses to nest among humans. So too it is trust, openness, vulnerability - and ergo fearlessness. Love is all of these things and more, some more tangible than others.

People often define love’s opposition as hate. But I would argue that if love is fearless, boundless and free then the opposite of love must be fear, emptiness and control. The five root sufferings in the Yogic tradition are Avidya (Ignorance), Asmita (Egoism), Raga (Attachment), Dvesa (Aversion) & Abhinivesa (Clinging to Bodily Life). But intriguingly, when I look at these I see only one root suffering - and that is “fear”. Fear of change, fear of not being in control, fear of losing something, fear of the unknown and fear of death. Some of the nuances cross back onto each other, but the common denominator remains “fear”.

My wise friend Helena once told me, “your greatest fear will always come to pass.” For many this statement might be incredibly frightening. For me, however, it is a challenge. And I do believe she is absolutely correct. However, I also believe that no fear must come to pass.

How is this possible? We all have fears, yes. But our power lies in choosing how we respond to them. We can choose to water them, provide sunlight for them & nurture them - growing them all out of proportion and creating our own little shop of horrors. Alternatively, we can be very specific in what and how we feed them. And I’ve found there’s really only one food for fear - and that’s love.

For whatever magical reason, they truly cannot coexist in the same mindstate. You cannot have feelings of love running through you AND feelings of fear simultaneously. They are two distinct and different affects - evoking two distinct and different responses both physiologically and emotionally. Invariably, they negate one another.

Creating loving thoughts does not mean not experiencing other emotions. All emotions are healthy and normal. What becomes significant is how we choose to layer them. Through which lens will we choose to view and ultimately dialogue with our emotions? When we look through a lens with love, we seek to observe, acknowledge and free. Whereas when we perceive through the lens of fear, we often seek to interpret, judge and control.

How do we begin replacing fear with love? Simple awareness. Simple awareness. Awareness is 95% of achieving anything. And I say simple with the full understanding that the act is not at all simple.

So what are some easy steps we can take? To start, try tying a colored thread around a finger or wrist or designate something that we’re easily or often drawn to, like a watch or ring. Over time as awareness builds, whatever we've chosen will no longer be necessary and veritably falls away. The thread or object is a symbol of love, a reminder of love but it is not the actual love.

The second step involves our eye catching our chosen object while we’re in the midst of fear - often made obvious by the adrenaline racing through us as we hyperventilate. (; If we can make this connection in time and awareness enters our sphere, we now have an amazing opportunity to actually feed our fears with love. As the love fills the space, notice the breath calms, the body relaxes and that feeling of panic brought on by the adrenaline begins to dissolve - resulting in peace, a wonderful side-effect of love. If we can just engage the awareness, the choice becomes ours in every moment to fear or to let go!

It never ceases to amaze me how a simple smile or touch given with no expectation of return can render so much love and wonder - for ourselves and the other person, for people we already love and people we’re not so fond of, for those we’ve known for years and strangers we’ve never met. Children naturally give and receive with open hearts. But when adults do it, it’s especially sweet and tender because it takes true fearlessness.

Ultimately love is the soul stripped bare. And it is only in that space that we begin to recognize ourselves in the other and to remember the love that is all of us.

Portabello Mushroom & Fig Gnocci w/ Truffle

6 large portobello mushrooms diced
3/4ths cup sharp aged hard goat cheese grated
8 semi-dried figs diced
2 tbsp St. Dalfour Fig Preserves
3 cups cabernet sauv
1 package fresh gnocci (NOT FROZEN) -
truffle oil to garnish
small hot red peppers to garnish
crispy shoe-string onions (1 vidalia or sweet onion, crusted & sauteed in olive oil to garnish)
salt to taste

Saute mushrooms & figs in red wine on low-med heat until firm. Add goat cheeze and fig preserves & continue cooking on low-med heat until warm and thick & of equal consistency. While cooking begin boiling water for gnocci. Boil gnocci about 3 minutes right before serving. Run under cold water to prevent sticking, then rewarm w/ hot water & top with mushroom fig sauce. Garnish with a very few tiny red peppers cut into tiny slivers, a tsp of crispy onions and truffle oil. Salt to taste.


I haven't actually prepared this variation yet...so when I do I'll get more exact details/measurements down! I also haven't actually made crispy onions before...so wish me luck! (;

Lobster Asparagus Manicotti & Truffle Hollandaise

1 cup asparagus (see grilled asparagus recipe)
1 1/2 cups fresh lobster or blue crabmeat (could prob sub shrimp, king crab or scallops as well)
1 container ricotta cheese
1/2 package manicotti
1 cup asiago, parmesan or romano cheese
salt to taste

Grill asparagas & boil seafood (try to keep both a tad underdone). Boil manicotti al denti. Place in glass or ceramic dish. Fill with ricotta cheese, seafood of choice & aspargas. Roll manicotti closed. Top with parm or romano cheese. Bake on 150C for 30 min or until cheese is melted (I like mine closer to burnt). (; Take out of oven, plate & top w/ truffle hollandaise. Garnish w/ something...

Truffle Hollandaise
225g butter
3 large egg yolks
2 tbsp hot water
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp truffle oil
pinch salt
pinch cayenne pepper
garnish w/ parmesan cheese
salt to taste

Melt butter slowly in medium saucepan. Once butter has melted, remove pan from the heat & swipe froth off top. Whisk egg yolks in bowl. While whisking, begin adding lemon, salt & cayenne pepper. Then slowly begin whisking in melted butter, water & truffle oil. Return the mixture to saucepan, heat over a very low heat, continuing to whisk until the sauce thickens. Serve immediately or keep warm for up to 30 minutes before serving.

Once again, I haven't actually prepared this variation yet...so when I do I'll get more exact details/measurements down! Someone's in for a treat, however!

Vinyasa Sequence #8 (mainly for yoga instructors)

breath work
standing warm-up
squat
bound angle
head to knee left
seated twist left
reclining pigeon left
ab crunch x's 5 left
bridge x's 2
rock horizontal & vertical
boat
bound angle
head to knee right
seated twist right
reclining pigeon right
ab crunch x's 5 right
bridge x's 2
rock horizontal & vertical
boat
bound angle
crow
squat to mountain
trapezius stretch sides
standing forward fold
1/2 forward fold
plank
side plank both sides
cobra
forearm dog to forearm plank x's 3
organic dog
sleeping pigeon left
down dog open left hip
warrior ii left
diagonal side angle left
balance pose grab left ankle up on right leg
standing hip rotation
standing forward fold
1/2 forward fold
plank
side plank both sides
cobra
forearm dog to forearm plank x's 3
organic dog
sleeping pigeon right
down dog open right hip
warrior ii right
diagonal side angle right
balance pose grab right ankle up on left leg
standing hip rotation
trapezius stretch back
clasp hands/elbows behind back
warrior iii x's 3 left
half-moon left
revolved half-moon left
chair
twisting chair both sides
toe stretch
clasp hands/elbows behind back
warrior iii x's 3 right
half-moon right
revolved half-moon right
chair
twisting chair both sides
toe stretch
standing cobra hands behind head
standing forward fold hands behind head
organic dog
child's pose
reclining twist
savasana

Vinyasa Sequence #7 (mainly for yoga instructors)

breath work
standing warm-up
standing forward fold
half forward fold
warrior i left
warrior ii left
reverse warrior left
warrior ii left
diagonal side angle left
warrior ii left
organic dog
pigeon left
sleeping pigeon left
downward facing dog open left hip
jana's pose left
jana's pose twist left
organic dog
mountain
standing forward fold
half forward fold
warrior i right
warrior ii right
reverse warrior right
warrior ii right
diagonal side angle right
warrior ii right
organic dog
pigeon right
sleeping pigeon right
downward facing dog open right hip
jana's pose right
jana's pose twist right
organic dog
mountain
dancing warrior sun salutations x's 3 (mountain, standing forward fold, 1/2 forward fold, plank, cobra, down dog, warrior i, warrior ii, reverse warrior, warrior ii, diagonal side angle, repeat other side, close)
standing warm-up
trapezius stretch sides
clasp hands or elbows in back & fold forward
lift arms to chair
stretch toes
eagle left
warrior iii x's 3 left
intense side stretch left
trapezius stretch back
clasp hands or elbows in back & fold forward
lift arms to chair
stretch toes
eagle right
warrior iii x's 3 right
intense side stretch right
standing warm-up
chair
side chair - twist both sides
inhale up
standing forward fold
half forward fold
plank
cobra
organic dog
sleeping pigeon left
organic dog
sleeping pigeon right
downward facing dog
child's pose
reclining twist
savasana

A Musing #3 - On Gratitude

I’m sitting in a little cafe in Wien immersed in the moment as emotions cycle through me. And the feeling that keeps running through my body is “grateful”. When I called my best friend Laurel last week in tears - she loved me. But then she said something surprising, “Don’t ask the universe for help, instead be grateful that the universe has already taken care of it.”  And as I continued to meet obstacle after obstacle over the last week, whenever I began to falter her words would come back to me....again and again and again. And now looking back over the past few weeks, I can’t begin to recount the miracles that have taken place. But I have and can continue to thank the multitude of strangers and friends who stepped in (especially Lenka R & Jan Z) or gave encouragement (the rest of you) in my quest to continue to live & work legally in the Czech Republic.



What is this “being grateful” and what does it mean “to be grateful”? This I ponder as I’m now sitting on the train traveling back to Praha with so much love and gratitude still flooding my heart. For me being grateful is about surrender - surrendering to the universe, knowing it works, knowing there’s a plan and then letting it magically unfold. It doesn’t mean you don’t work too. But it does mean that you end up working co-creatively. Together you create the present moment through your thoughts, words and actions...together you manifest the reality.
 


And as I write this I am suddenly aware that this co-creation or synergy is actually reflective of what can happen in yoga classes. For me, the core of yoga is about getting students to really be present with their bodies, to take 90-minutes out of their week to truly turn off the mind & ego and allow the body to lead. Interestingly, when they do this they often find it is also about love and forgiveness...loving the body in that moment the way it is and forgiving the body for daring to be weak, inflexible, sick, overweight or just tired. It’s recognizing our imperfections, feeding them with love and then awakening to the knowledge that it is our imperfections which make us perfect.

It takes a courageous person to go down into child’s pose when everyone else is in downward facing dog, to put your knees on the ground for plank when nobody else is or to lie down and do a reclining pigeon while other people are folded forward. It takes a lot of strength to say, “I’m really inflexible here” or “I’m weak here” or “I need a break” or “I’m done for the day”. It also takes a lot of flexibility of the mind to let go of the all of the preconceived notions we seem to have around what yoga class and yoga “should” look like and ultimately to surrender to what it really is or what it might be.

Last Thursday night I came out of a class that I had subbed. I looked at Yogame studio owner, Jan, and smiling said, “That was great! We had so much fun!” And he looked at me in mock horror and with his fabulous accent replied, “But Monica, this is not a bar or a party, this is yoga class - you’re not supposed to have fun!”



And truthfully, subbing another teacher's yoga class is often not fun. Rather it is generally incredibly daunting and challenging. Students get very attached to their teachers. It can be disconcerting to watch as students struggle to mask their disappointment - trying to work through letting go of their attachment. And teaching through this can be extremely painful if you don’t quickly release your own ego. You are the mirror for your students and you can choose two paths. You can choose to mirror your own disappointment in the fact that they’re disappointed - which I can pretty much guarantee results in an unsatisfactory experience for all parties involved. Or, you can invite them to work with you to create a new path - an unknown path that may or may not lead somewhere nice - but at the very least will be present, real and authentic. To do this requires courage, strength and flexibility of mind from everybody. And ultimately it requires a willingness to trust.

Yoga class for me is an adventure...it’s magical. It’s a space where multiple beings, who may or may not know each other, bravely step up and allow themselves to be egoless and vulnerable. And so for that 90-minutes, together we create an environment of openness, trust and yes - often fun! What this means is students rest when they need to rest and they ask for help or modifications when a pose hurts or doesn’t feel right. It means students have the power to say no. In a way the poses cease to matter. They begin to melt into the backdrop as students choose to exercise their rights. And yet paradoxically all of the students remain part of the group...a whole that has suddenly become incredibly powerful and beautiful because it is fueled by individuals who in that moment are all really listening to and taking care of their needs.

Thus each time I step into yoga class with my students, I am always excited by (and sometimes a little fearful of) the prospect of the unknown. But then the fear is banished as I wonder to the universe, “where will this 90-minutes take us today?” And so at the end, as the students lie still in savasana, I am perpetually overcome by love, awe and gratitude for the trust they elicit in themselves, each other and the process and their continued willingness to create this wondrous adventure with me.

Vinyasa Sequence #6 (mainly for yoga instructors)

breath work
leg lifts x's
10
crunches x's 10 e/ side
sun salutations x's 5 (mountain, standing forward fold, flat back, plank, side plank right, plank, side plank left, chatturanga dandasana, cobra, downward facing dog, chair, mountain)

standing forward fold

flat back

plank
side plank right

plank
side plank left

organic dog
forearm dog to forearm plank x's 3

child's pose

organic dog

high lunge left
twisting lunge cross left

jana's pose left 

organic dog
open left hip

triangle left
revolved triangle left
half-moon left

revolved half-moon left

chair

stretch toes
standing warm-up

standing forward fold

flat back

plank
side plank right

plank
side plank left
organic dog

forearm dog to forearm plank x's 3
child's pose

organic dog

high lunge right
twisting lunge cross right

jana's pose right
organic dog open right hip
triangle right
revolved triangle right

half-moon right
revolved half-moon right
chair

stretch toes
standing warm-up

squat

shoulderstand or wall ab work
shoulderstand or legs up wall

backbend of choice

spinal twists

rock spine
savasana

A Musing #2 - Back to the Beginning: the Breath

So I've been playing with the breath in both Prague and Malaysia, and recently made some pretty exciting discoveries! About 18 months ago in Prague I started really examining my own breath - not only when in yoga poses, but more often when I was just lying on the floor. From there I began looking at what my body was actually doing while breathing. As it turns out - my body was doing a LOT of interesting things. For starters, I was breathing with my shoulders and my neck. In fact, I'd been doing it so long it was almost impossible to not move my shoulders and neck when breathing. And then when I finally got that under control - my legs decided to kick in and start helping! I wasn't breathing correctly because first, I didn't intellectually understand what to do and second, without any guidance my body had apparently decided to develop its own dysfunctional way of doing things - resulting in inefficient muscle coordination on the mat & muscle pain off the mat.

So once I figured out what I was doing wrong - I started trying to figure out how to do it right - and in a way that best supported how we are actually moving in the physical practice of yoga. I did this through reading/research, chatting with physical therapists, other yoga/pilates instructors & exercise scientists, and experimenting on myself (and sometimes them - thank you Lydia!). The result was a new way of breathing for me...and ultimately a new way of thinking about the breath and how it really applies to and works with the yoga poses.

As we delve deeper and really begin breaking things down, like me - you may find some of this quite contradictory to what you've been taught. But I challenge you to keep an open mind, to play and to experiment yourself and draw your own conclusions.

To start we must go back to the beginning - back to the breath. So without further ado...

1. Lying on your back begin breathing in & out through the nose (the mouth remains closed unless it's too strenuous).
2. Both exhalation & inhalation should begin in the belly. Starting with the belly on exhalation the abdominals contract while the diaphragm relaxes, the lungs deflate & the chest closes. Starting with the belly, on inhalation the diaphragm contracts while the abdominals are relaxed, the lungs inflate, followed by the chest opening.
3. With each exhale, deeply & strongly contract the abdominal muscles to pull the lower ribs down towards the spine and the lumbar back down into the mat - filling the back with air (it should feel less strenuous than if you coughed or sneezed - but that's the action we're looking for)
4. With each inhale try to continue to keep the ribs moving towards the spine and the back against the mat (positioned during the exhale) while lengthening through the deep front abdominals, side obliques and deep back muscles. If the breath becomes too strenuous, then forgo the first part and just focus on lengthening through the torso.
5. Aim for a lengthened & non-strenuous quality of breath on both inhalation & exhalation (though if the abdominals are weak - this will be extremely difficult until they become stronger).
6. Begin blaspheming me - yes I know it sucks & it hurts! But it WILL become easier!

Of course like any other journey of the self - ultimately I walk it alone. However, if my path resonates with you or better yet even, if it pisses you off, then I encourage you to join me here & to feel free to add to or argue with my ideas! I want this to be a living, breathing, evolving blog!

In future posts I'll be exploring how to use the breath in order to best support, power & move in the poses, how to strengthen the abdominal muscles to facilitate this breath & the overall implications for this breath & core work in the poses! I'll also be offering voodoo doll 101 - as i have little doubt you'll want to stick pins in me by the time I get you through the abdominal work! (;

Now We're Talking Dirty Sangria

1 bottle semi-sweet spanish or italian red wine
1/2 cup raw cane sugar
3 large sweet oranges (slice 2 & half 1)
2 limes sliced
2 lemons sliced
2 granny smith apples sliced

Combine wine, sugar & fruit. Squeeze juice from orange that was halved & toss out. Refrigerate overnight & put in freezer 2 hours before serving. Guaranteed to cause salacious behavior. I should have just called it...Now We're Talking Dirty Sangria...

PS ...so i did...